‘Raw Is Terrible,’ Says Barely Casual Viewer
T-Bar, Slapjack and Mace.
Looks like a Kayfabe News headline, but it’s the truth: Monday Night Raw is terrible. I have only seen clips lately, but last week I sat down for the full three hours. Now I’m wondering if Raw, the flagship of WWE, is done.
To be fair, I usually cover AEW, so I don’t want to come off as if I’m anti-WWE. In fact, WWE has the better roster when it comes to pure talent. But having a good roster means nothing if there is no direction in booking. And the only direction Raw is heading right now is straight into the trash.
Last week’s episode was beyond bad. Will this Seth Rollins-Rey Mysterio feud ever end? It has dragged on so long that WWE is now redoing storylines. Who’s Dominik’s real dad? Uh, Rey won custody in a ladder match 15 years ago, like any good father would! Isn’t the whole point of this feud to get Dominik over? Because between Rey still “missing” an eye and now his daughter being infatuated with Murphy, I fail to see how this helps Dominik. If you are going to use Rollins to enhance younger talent, focus on the wrestling and not how much drama you can put into it. If you want drama, try harder. Make it something believable and inject a healthy dose of originality. What’s the creative team there for, anyway?
Speaking of missing eyes, does Aleister Black have an issue or not? Because it seems like one week he is wrapped and covered and the next he is just fine. Black attacking Owens on the Kevin Owens Show was a low highlight. They have the potential to have a very good rivalry, but it’s overshadowed by hyping up Raw Underground as much as possible. Owens is a former Universal, NXT, U.S., and Intercontinental Champion and Black is a former NXT Champion – these two don’t need to be playing second fiddle to anyone. This feud has another perfect element, too, that they aren’t capitalizing on: Owens can carry the whole build up on the mic by himself, allowing Black to be the silent killer he really is.
The tag team division is a big swing and a miss. The Street Profits are highly entertaining, but no one that they have faced has given us a decent match. That’s a shame when you watch and see just how good they really are in the ring, and now they will be facing Angel Garza and Andrade. Weren’t these two guys just killing each other backstage last week? Now they are front in line for the titles. It shows just how low in depth the tag division is. We’re just waiting for them to come to blows again. Feuding tag team partners is so overdone. Can’t we just have four or five teams of two guys who like each other and want to be the best? Why is unity such a foreign concept in WWE unless it’s Survivor Series season?
Let’s talk about the women’s division. After her performance at the Royal Rumble, Bianca Belair should have replaced Becky Lynch as the top star on Raw. We all know how strong she is, she has a good look, she’s great on the mic and can hold her own with Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss. Instead we have Asuka being champion facing Peyton Royce (a lifetime tag teamer), Zelina Vega (a lifetime manager) and Mickie James. It’s like playing career mode in WWE2K and simulating a whole year, then checking on a PPV to see who got the title match. Bianca can bring a real amount of power and attitude back to that division, something it has lost since Becky left.
Some things I will give Raw credit on are The Hurt Business and Keith Lee. Is there anyone better than MVP on the mic right now? I love the group of guys he has surrounded himself with and again, big key here, if they have proper direction, they could be the top stable on Raw. It makes me think of the Evolution days when they held all the gold. Keith Lee is succeeding because for one, he is Keith Lee. However, having him start off as a big deal only to be fed to others a few months later would really hurt him, as it did Owens, Chris Jericho and Cesaro early in their WWE runs.
Does anyone have an ambulance match in their top 10 gimmick matches? It’s unnecessary and corny. Randy Orton is a heel and it’s ok for him to beat the babyface in a regular match for the title. I don’t think anyone at this point would see it as a burial of Drew McIntyre. In fact, it would create a pissed off McIntyre and that’s when he is at his best. Also, Orton might be the best heel WWE has ever had. Let him use dirty tactics to win the title – it makes Edge taking it from him at WrestleMania even more sweet (again if that’s the plan).
I saved the worst for last: Retribution.
Did Vince McMahon recently watch The Dark Knight and Predator? He sent those guys out there looking like background characters for the newest Borderlands game, naming them after late ‘80s early villains. T-Bar, Slapjack and Mace just scream backup henchmen to Shredder. I don’t get anything about this or why it was approved. Remember when The Shield were called up? The majority of fans had no idea who was attacking Ryback, but at least in those turtlenecks they still looked tough, and they got to keep their names. Over time we learned to take The Shield seriously, but there is no way we are going to take Retribution seriously.
I don’t care if they beat the Rock, Triple H, Stone Cold and the Undertaker in a handicap match – they still wouldn’t get over. Not every new gimmick is a hit right off the bat, sometimes they need to develop a bit, like Bray Wyatt suddenly being Mr. Rogers. Retribution doesn’t have those kinds of legs for storytelling. These guys are dead in the water.
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