10 Most Ridiculous SummerSlam Stipulations
From the love of a woman to the love of a child, everything has been on the line at the biggest event of the summer.
Before WWE created pay-per-views based around certain match types, such as Hell in a Cell and TLC, specialty matches were reserved as the blow off to a feud or storyline. The culmination usually happened at major events, typically the Big 4 (Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, SummerSlam and Survivor Series). However, it seems that at the biggest event of the summer, WWE has concocted its craziest situations. These are the 10 most ridiculous SummerSlam stipulations.
10. Rest In Peace
It sounds much more sinister than it actually was. After spending half of 1993 scrapping with Giant Gonzales, Undertaker finally had enough and challenged the Argentinean Sasquatch to a Rest In Peace match. What does it mean? What kind of spooky shit will go down?
Well, sorry to disappoint, but it’s just a no countout, no disqualification match. The Deadman hit a flying closeline to slay the giant, and instead of dying as you’d expect, Gonzales actually attacked his manager and turned face!
9. Lion’s Den
Before UFC became a juggernaut, WWE dabbled with the octagon by making Ken Shamrock feel like he was at home. Shamrock and Owen Hart laid the groundwork for this grueling battle in a confined space by fighting in the infamous Dungeon a month prior. For the Lion’s Den, they faced off in a caged octagon in a rowdy theater adjacent to Madison Square Garden, giving a Fight Club feel.
8. Love Her or Leave Her
Romance and wrestling gel like Russo and Cornette. Whenever a man tries to express his feelings toward a woman, or vice versa, expect a third party to interfere and cause some Jerry Springer shit.
In 1999, Stephanie McMahon had fallen for Test, much to her brother’s dismay. Because the McMahons control everything about wrestlers from their promos to their hair length to even their love interests, Shane O’Mac challenged Test to a Greenwich Street Fight. If the former Motley Crue bodyguard could beat Super Shane, he’d be able to pursue a relationship with Stephanie. If not, he had to wait a few months to sedate her for a shotgun wedding leave her alone.
7. Kiss My Ass Match
Even though he loved to love ’em, kick ’em, shove ’em, stick ’em, flaunt ’em, watch ’em, pick ’em and kick ’em again, Billy Gunn did not, in fact, love to kiss ass. So he and The Rock agreed to wrestle at SummerSlam 99 with the loser having to pucker up to the winner’s derrière.
6. Stinkface Match
As a red-blooded American male, this was really a win-win. You’re probably expecting Rikishi to be involved, but this was the Attitude Era, baby! Stinkfaces come in all forms, from obese Samoans to peaches like Terri and The Kat. Jerry Lawler almost had his first heart attack from calling this “action.”
5. Boiler Room Brawl
Two decades before Sami Callihan and MVP brawled throughout GILT Nightclub, Mankind welcomed Undertaker into his happy place – the dreary, steamy, dusty, grimy boiler room of the Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio.
It was basically the first hardcore match in WWE history, laying the blueprint for the garbage brawl throughout the arena that the hardcore division would emulate two years later. It’s also remembered for the shocking swerve at the end.
4. Till Death Do Us Part
Back to romance again, as Lita was in the middle of a bizarre love triangle with real-life boyfriend Matt Hardy and horny monster Kane. After weeks of stalking Lita, the Big Red Machine apparently fulfilled his fantasy by spewing his demon seed inside his prey. Obviously, Lita had to choose whether she would spend the rest of her life as Kane’s Fiona or force Matt to raise Kane’s kid.
It was settled in a match at SummerSlam 2004, in which the winner got to marry Lita. Kane won, tied the knot and almost became a father until a fellow named Snitsky came along…
3. Ring of Fire
Johnny Cash would have been disappointed by this P.G.-take on the Inferno Match. Instead of lighting your opponent on fire to win, you either had to pin your opponent or make him tap out, with the fire merely serving as a barrier around the ring.
Of course, the Wyatt Family threw a tarp over the fire and entered the ring, anyway.
2. Jailhouse Match
“You want my finger? Here’s the finger!” After losing a Jailhouse Match to the Big Boss Man, the Mountie was taken away in a paddy wagon to spend the night in a New York City jail cell. Hilarity ensued as Mountie reluctantly was finger printed and had his picture taken, before locked in the cell with a Deliverance-sounding criminal asking if he liked the way leather feels against his body.
1. Custody of Dominick
The judicial system has forever been altered by SummerSlam 2005. Instead of taking Eddie Guerrero to court for claiming to be the father of his son, Rey Mysterio chose to settle it in the ring. In a ladder match!
It’s the most absurd storyline in wrestling history, but the beauty of it is that the fans were fully invested and on the edge of their seats. That’s a testament to the athleticism and storytelling of the performers, as well as the universal acceptance that anything can happen in pro wrestling.
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