Pissin’ Away WrestleMania 37

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

One may recall yours truly calling the purported WrestleMania 37 main event from lightyears out. Ever since Roman Reigns returned following his self-imposed exile during the COVID-19 pandemic and took the professional wrestling world by storm, I have been banging the table for a marquee match at WrestleMania with Edge. It made all the sense in the world, as with the way WWE operates currently, it was easily the biggest match to be made (within reason).

When Edge ran the table at the Royal Rumble, that match took an important step towards manifestation. When Edge chose to forgo matches with Finn Balor and Drew McIntyre to instead zero in on Roman Reigns, I was prepared to be amazed. We were in for what had the potential to be perhaps the most unique WrestleMania main event of all time, which speaks volumes given the current state of the on-screen product (spoiler – it sucks).

Truth be told, the build started slow, as expected. After all, gone are the days where WWE is capable of a long-term story vision. With just over two months to connect Edge’s historic win at the Rumble with his match at WrestleMania, slow was reasonable. Slow felt good. Slow felt right.

I guess I just set the bar too high with this company.

With not one, but TWO standalone shows set to take place on the Road to WrestleMania, WWE found a way to, well, get in its own way. Daniel Bryan won the Elimination Chamber match to earn an immediate title shot with Reigns.

Some reward, am I right?

But Bryan parlayed that success into a non-title rematch with Reigns at Fastlane, with a place in the WrestleMania main event on the line. Whether or not Fastlane and the Elimination Chamber should just be combined into one big show or just nixed completely is a discussion for another time, but I’ll spare you the recap: Edge turns heel, Bryan backdoors his way into the match and now we have a triple threat literally nobody asked for.

I think the world of Daniel Bryan as a talent, but he has no business in this match, whatsoever. However, in the twisted head of Vince McMahon, he absolutely does. Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter reported that the reason for Bryan’s inclusion in the match could be to ensure Reigns doesn’t have to take a fall, but it’s more likely to ensure Reigns does not get cheered as a heel.

What?

I can’t believe I’m as surprised as I am because this is the WWE’s M.O. If it wants to prevent a heel from getting cheered, it will pair him with another heel with X-Pac heat, I.E. Sheamus or Baron Corbin. If WWE wants to prevent a babyface from getting booed, it’ll add someone the fans hate more to the match. Conversely, this is reportedly why The Hurt Business was broken up. As far as I can tell, people seem to be more outraged by that occurrence than the addition of Daniel Bryan to the SmackDown main event, and reasonably so. It’s Daniel Bryan. I like Daniel Bryan. You like Daniel Bryan. He likes Daniel Bryan. She likes Daniel Bryan. But do I like Daniel Bryan in this match? Absolutely not. I do think it’s important to understand the company’s reasoning for including him. Of course, WWE could just get better at booking babyfaces and heels, but what do I know? I’m not the one with 50 years of television experience.

The story between Edge and Roman Reigns, I thought, wrote itself. In one corner, there’s Edge, the legend of the sport who made (with apologies to Daniel Bryan once again) the most improbable return from what was thought to be a career-ending injury. He is a man who is looking to test himself against the very best, hellbent on winning his 12th world championship on the 10-year anniversary of the day he was forced to walk away from his life’s work.

In the other corner, there’s Roman Reigns, who returned to action last summer and finally turned heel. While Reigns’ turn came about five years too late, he quickly became the top heel in the business, flanked by his cousin Jey Uso and his associate Paul Heyman. With the Universal Championship in hand, there is no length Reigns won’t go to in the name of keeping his title and continuing to provide for his family – even if that means having to put an end to Edge for good.

See how easy that was? Now all that needed to happen was for the story to be written backwards from WrestleMania 37 while providing Edge, Reigns and Heyman more than enough creative rope and license to do what they felt was right on a weekly basis. If all of this happened just as I assumed it would, it’s hard to see a way for the fans to boo Edge when he makes the walk this Sunday. I still don’t think they will. However, to make such a big decision based on whether or not a certain wrestler would be cheered or booed by the fans is the picture of insanity.

Even if Edge were to get booed, to shoehorn Daniel Bryan into the match when it makes no sense to do so speaks volumes to what the WWE thinks of Reigns and Edge, two of the most talented performers the company has at the moment. By adding Bryan to the match, WWE is telling both Reigns and Edge, “we don’t think you two are talented enough to work with whatever the crowd decides to throw at you. Instead, we’re going to use the old carny technique to TRICK the fans into doing what we want them to do.”

It’s a slap in the face to all parties. It’s a slap in the face to Edge and Reigns for what’s stated above, to the fans for thinking they’re intentionally going to fall out of line to screw with the WWE’s meaningless plans and to Bryan for getting relegated to pawn status in Vince McMahon’s chess match with wrestling fans. There’s absolutely no reason Bryan couldn’t have had his own program at WrestleMania 37, perhaps with AJ Styles who didn’t come upon a WrestleMania match until recently. I do miss those Raw vs. SmackDown matches we used to get back in the day.

Even with all that said, that doesn’t even scratch the surface of how little sense Bryan’s inclusion makes in the storyline. He went through the Elimination Chamber, then lost to Reigns, THEN lost to Reigns in a rematch at Fastlane. We all know why he’ll be in the match on Sunday, but consider the story of Edge. In no universe should Edge be an unlikable character in this equation, but it seems we’ve reached that point and now he’s walking into WrestleMania 37 as a heel despite actually being a pretty likeable guy.

WWE took a massive “L” on this storyline just like how it’s taking a massive “L” in giving Peacock creative license to do whatever it pleases to the video library. Some might say this doesn’t quite feel like WrestleMania Week because of the pandemic, but if you feel the way I feel, it’s probably because the shows have been quite bad. With this being the first WrestleMania back with fans in the arena, the show was a no-brainer to fill its attendance quota. Roughhouse Fargo could be on the marquee and WrestleMania 37 would still be sure to sell out. But until we fans find a way to hold this company accountable for its subpar writing and Russo-esque storylines, shows like WrestleMania 37 are doomed to become a new, depressing standard in the years to come.