Top 5 Dumbest Wrestling Storylines

In this edition of The Wrestling Estate roundtable, we reminisce on the dumbest wrestling storylines of all time.

David Gibb’s Dumbest Wrestling Storylines

The Shockmaster’s Debut
When is it not a good idea to make sure a wall is structurally sound? When someone’s supposed to break through it, of course! “Uncle Fred’s” famous fall “flat on his arse” at Clash of the Champions XXIV is arguably wrestling’s all-time live on-air blooper, but more importantly, a terrible idea on all fronts: fur cape, Stormtrooper helmet, glitter, no eye holes…What was Dusty thinking?

Katie Vick
Humanizing Kane by making him interested in girlfriends (Tori, Lita, etc.) was a major change to the character that made it easier for him to play with a variety of opponents. On the other hand, the Big Red Monster’s love life did very little to strengthen the character over the years. That was never clearer than when Triple H told the world of Kane’s high school sweetheart, the late Katie Vick. Depending on your read of wrestling history, the angle was either an intentional attempt at sabotage or just peak early-2000s bad taste.

Anybody’s Fake Life-Changing Medical Emergency
From Fritz’s phantom heart attack to Terri Runnels’ supposed on-screen miscarriage, wrestling promoters have frequently stumbled over the clear line between storyline-based wrestling injury and trying to convince the people they just saw something earth-shatteringly upsetting. In reality, it’s always a tell that an organization has lost track of what makes pro wrestling work.

Claire Lynch and AJ Styles’ Fake Affair
AJ Styles was one of TNA’s few homegrown stars, and inarguably its best and brightest for more than a decade. With Styles nearing his late 30s and the time for him to become a money-drawing star getting close, the TNA braintrust (who somehow never understood their biggest star) had him do something completely out of character for absolutely no reason. When the angle died the death it deserved, the whole thing was retconned away, like so many storylines in comic books.

James Ellsworth: Star of the Women’s Division
In the summer of 2017, WWE had fans eating out of its hands with the successful elevation of the women’s division. When the time came to crown the first Ms. Money in the Bank, however, the company basically laughed in everybody’s face by having a man functionally win the match, flipping a big bird to anybody who cared.

Chad Gelfand’s Dumbest Wrestling Storylines

Katie Vick
I like to think of the dumbest storylines/angles as something that you would be completely embarrassed of if someone walked into the room as you’re watching. This takes the cake. Triple H was pantomiming having sex with a mannequin.

Anonymous RAW GM
This story dragged on for over a year, making the program worse each week and there wasn’t even a payoff. Hell, years later Hornswoggle was revealed to be the anonymous GM.

Goldberg Doesn’t Follow The Script
A Vince Russo special of not only breaking kayfabe for no reason, but also destroying the character of one of your top stars.

Mae Young’s Hand
While this is one of the most memorable angles of the Attitude Era, it still makes no sense and is completely embarrassing. Why was it a hand???

Dr. Heiney
This was when Vince McMahon dressed as a surgeon and did a skit mocking Jim Ross’ real-life colon surgery. The skit was just mean spirited and bizarre and served no purpose other than to make McMahon laugh and embarrass JR.

Steven Jackson’s Dumbest Wrestling Storylines

Who Is Mr. McMahon’s Son?
WWE has had some ridiculous storylines over the years, but Mr. McMahon trying to discover his supposed long-lost son was one of the dumbest. It took up way too much time, wasn’t funny in the slightest and somehow was Hornswoggle?!

Impostor Kane
You would think WWE would learn from its past mistakes, but nope. Impostor Kane in 2006 was just as absurd as Underfaker in 1994. A stunned silence fell over crowds watching this car-crash take place on TV, leading to one of the most awkward big man matches in WWE history.

Lance Von Erich
It is well documented how important the Von Erichs were within the landscape of pro wrestling. Charismatic, talented and innovative, the brothers ruled over Texas like Greek Gods. Yet, after the sudden and tragic events that occurred to the family in the mid-1980s, patriarch Fritz Von Erich entered panic mode as to what to do to keep fans happy. His solution…create a new Von Erich! Lance Von Erich was immediately seen as a fraud, creating an embarrassing storyline which really hurt the credibility of the family for a long time afterwards.

Pacman Jones
Celebrity involvement is a very difficult thing to get right in wrestling. Sometimes it can work wonders (Andy Kaufman in Memphis) and other times it can cause chaos. Pacman Jones joining TNA in 2007 was the latter of these two outcomes. From the minute Pacman was signed to his sudden disappearance from TNA television was absurd and highly embarrassing for the company, which at the time really did not need any negative publicity.

David Arquette Wins WCW World Championship
It can be said that anything from WCW in 2000 could count as one of the most embarrassing, absurd, ridiculous or dumbest storylines ever, but nothing will top David Arquette winning the WCW title in 2000. Thankfully, the actor has redeemed himself in recent years through his great work on the independent scene, but back in 2000, he became enemy number one to a lot of fans and wrestlers by winning the WCW World Title. It was an angle that was used to promote a terrible movie and really insulted the legacy of one of the most prestigious championships in wrestling history.

John Corrigan’s Dumbest Wrestling Storylines

Gobbledy Gooker
The biggest letdown in the history of pro wrestling. For weeks, WWE TV hyped up a giant egg that would break open at Survivor Series 1990. Who was in the egg? Was it someone from WCW? Was it someone returning from WWE? Nope. It was a fucking turkey!

Undertaker Buries Paul Bearer
At Great American Bash 2004, the main event featured Undertaker taking on the Dudley Boyz. Sounds odd, right? Well, the storyline surrounding it was Paul Bearer being held captive in a giant glass case. SmackDown GM Paul Heyman threatened to pour cement into the case if Undertaker didn’t lay down for those damn Dudleyz. Not only did the Deadman single-handedly defeat one of the greatest tag teams ever, he then proceeded to pull the lever himself, killing his longtime manager! (Bearer would return years later during Undertaker’s feud with Kane.)

Mae Young’s Hand
Mark Henry impregnating 80-year-old Mae Young is hilarious, but her giving birth to a white, rubber hand still makes no goddamn sense. At least WWE paid it off at RAW 1000 when the hand grew up into a fine gentleman.

Anonymous RAW GM
This thing lasted for over a year! The momentum of every Raw would come to a screeching halt as Michael Cole read emails from some mysterious person in authority who would make matches, change finishes, etc. We didn’t find out who it was until nobody cared anymore, and it was revealed as Hornswoggle in a throwaway segment.

Katie Vick
In a battle to unify the Intercontinental Championship and World Heavyweight Championship, ending the IC Title’s illustrious 23 years of classic matches and moments, a title which propelled many stars to the main event, WWE creative felt there needed to be another storyline added to Kane vs. Triple H. And that just so happened to be that Kane accidentally killed his high school girlfriend in a drunken car crash…and then fucked her. And then in the all-time worst segment in Raw history, Triple H had sex with a mannequin in a casket in a funeral home.

Juan Bautista’s Dumbest Wrestling Storylines

Jason Jordan Is Kurt Angle’s Son
It broke up American Alpha and ruined Jason Jordan’s career.

Raw Goes On Strike
After weeks of chaos, the roster decided they’ve had enough. It led to probably the worst episode of Raw in recent memory. The first half hour consisted of John vs. Sheamus with Triple H as the referee and CM Punk on commentary.

Heel Michael Cole
It gave Cole a WrestleMania win…what else needs to be said?

Shark Boy’s Rebirth
Hindsight being 20/20, it’s now one of the symbols of TNA’s decline. After taking so much punishment, Shark Boy was left lifeless in a room for weeks and then he resurrected. He came back as a rip-off Stone Cold chugging clam juice.

Vince Russo’s Shoot
At Bash at the Beach 2000, Russo cut a scathing promo on Hulk Hogan, which led to a defamation lawsuit and started the rapid decline of the company.

Neal Wagner’s Dumbest Wrestling Storylines

Road Warrior Hawk’s Personal Demons
When the WWF decided to use a real-life addiction as storyline, it was tasteless and horrible to watch. They basically made fun of someone’s demons instead of helping him off camera. Having Hawk drunkenly stumble off the Titantron was just a terrible conclusion to the whole thing.

The InVasion
This should have been one of the greatest storylines of all time, but a major lack of star power prevented WCW/ECW’s invasion of the WWF from taking off. If you look at The Alliance by its end in November of 2001, the Survivor Series team consisted of Austin, Angle and Shane. The only non-WWF originals that got any push were Booker T and RVD.

Claire Lynch
I remember watching all of this live in 2011 and thought it was just swerves for swerves’ sake, BRO. It contained all the great things a story needs: a drugged wrestler, his former best friends being assholes, a girl raping said drugged wrestler and a child that nobody really wanted to lay claim to. Thanks, Russo.

Anonymous RAW GM
This was easily on the list of the many reasons I stopped watching for years until WrestleMania time. This was one of the most annoying storylines ever with the beeping and Michael Cole’s “If I may have your attention please.” WE KNOW YOU HAVE A MESSAGE, YOU IDIOT, JUST READ IT!

Kanyon Off the Triple Cage
This was as horrible as you could get. WCW would decide to throw Chris Kanyon off the top of a cage through the entrance ramp and act like he had just died on air. This was done almost exactly one year to the day that Owen Hart passed away from his tragic fall. To make it worse, it was in the exact same arena that Owen died.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DV7WBEeJWY

Jack Goodwillie’s Dumbest Wrestling Storylines

The Old Day
Three of the angles I’m going to throw out are key examples of why it is a BAD idea to have 74-year-old Vince McMahon as the show runner of a program that has emphasized the need to cater to a younger audience. Not only did the comedy in the “Old Day” segment fail, it nearly killed the careers of Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, two dudes who are generally considered some of wrestling’s funniest personalities. Ugh…I’m getting furious writing this as I have the segment on in the background, so I’m just going to leave it there.

Bayley and Alexa Bliss: This is Your Life
If you look at the WWE YouTube channel’s upload of this segment, you will not see any of the lead-up to the payoff of this segment, just the payoff, which was Bayley running down to the ring to attack Alexa Bliss after doing the satirical and done to death “This is Your Life” bit. This angle was a train wreck. Alexa Bliss performed admirably and I’m reminded just how good of a heel she was back in 2017, but the organization of this segment was off from the jump. It’s a 13-minute talking segment and Alexa doesn’t even introduce the characters she has in the ring until five minutes in. Once they do get going, they prove to be cringeworthy. The crowd wasn’t having it and started chanting “DELETE” halfway in, and when Bayley FINALLY intervenes, she gets beaten down, thus cementing herself as one of the worst babyfaces of the modern era.

Goldberg Refuses To Follow The Script
This is perhaps the dumbest wrestling storyline of all time, and you have Vince Russo to thank for it. There’s a video on YouTube of the hype piece that would play during commercials and the narration goes a little something like this: “At New Blood Rising, WCW’s biggest star did the UNIMAGINABLE: HE REFUSED TO FOLLOW THE SCRIPT! Now, if Vince Russo can’t fire Goldberg, he’ll have Scott Steiner DESTROY him. NO SCRIPT. ONE RULE. TWO ENTER. ONE LEAVES.” The truth is, if I need to tell you why this is one of wrestling’s most WTF storylines of all time, you’re probably not a wrestling fan. Classic WCW.

Bobby Lashley’s Sisters
The Sami Zayn heel experiment has been a disaster, and with the amount of injuries he’s had since coming to WWE, he should seriously consider retirement. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk the atrocious angle with Zayn, Bobby Lashley and his “three sisters.” While I can at least praise Alexa Bliss somewhat during her abortion of a segment, Zayn came off like a Looney Tunes character. Of course, this segment should have never seen the light of day. How it did is a mystery to me, and whoever green lit this should take a long look in the mirror. Modern WWE has been a little shop of horrors when it comes to “comedy” segments in recent years, and this one is no exception, granted, at least the babyface stood tall in this angle…

Claire Lynch
Don’t think for a second I was going to let TNA get off scot free here. The Claire Lynch angle is hands down the worst storyline in TNA history and yet it features a man who was perhaps the company’s greatest booking achievement in “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles. Any time you bring a Judge Judy civil court storyline to a wrestling show, there’s plenty of reason for it to go off the rails, especially when you bring a non-wrestler in to play a role and inherit everything that comes with that (I.E., heat, etc.). The actress who played Claire Lynch eventually quit because she couldn’t handle the predictably nuclear heat she got as a result of playing a heel character. My biggest gripe might be the portrayal of AJ Styles. Everyone knows how important his faith and family is to him, even if it always flew under the radar, and because of that, this storyline came off as silly and both unbelievable and NOT believable.