Neutering The Hounds Of Justice

In honor of Vincent Kennedy McMahon’s birthday on Friday (“73 years young, pal!”), we’re doing a roundtable on the genetic jackhammer’s legacy. There is so much to say about the Walt Disney of professional wrestling, but you’d have to start with how he hates the phrase “professional wrestling.” You know what he loves, though?

Money. Recognition. Roman Reigns.

Bryan Alvarez recently said that he, “never thought he’d see the day where Vince McMahon would become Vince Russo,” and he’s kind of right. Take The Shield angle from Monday night.

What the fuck was that?

You try and resume an angle that died of natural causes over half a year ago and use it to undermine the top babyface on the show? Not only have WWE officials watered down The Shield with all these nothing appearances, they have taken a red hot Seth Rollins and a RED HOT, new look, new attitude Dean Ambrose and made them Roman Reigns’ lackeys.

I can’t help but feel like this is not what the Hounds of Justice were originally meant for.

I mean, sure, you always had a future cornerstone guy in Reigns, but it was more about each guy bringing different skills to the whole group, with all three having the chance to become future main eventers. Granted, they are main eventers not in the Stone Cold mold, but rather the WWE’s watered down 2018 mold.

But to anybody who subscribes to common sense, it would seem that Ambrose and Rollins are now Reigns’ flunkies who will do whatever it takes to keep the belt on their guy. WWE has also watered down Money in the Bank cash-ins forever with each holder being due at least one time where they cash in, but “technically don’t because the bell didn’t ring.” I could go on and on about Vince’s “Vinceisms:” “Not a hospital, pal. MEDICAL FACILITY. Not title shot, TITLE OPPORTUNITY. Samoa Joe is not a fighter. He is a COMBAT ATHLETE.”

But I think the biggest error that has plagued WWE storylines for generations is the DQ finish in championship matches, only to have the champion’s music play for losing the match. There is no world where this makes sense. Picture this: LeBron and the Cavs are about to finally beat the Warriors and become NBA Champions. But then, Steph Curry and friends decide, “nah,” leave, and can still call themselves champions! Or how about this: same scenario, but instead of the Warriors walking off the court, Draymond Green comes flying off the bench and clobbers LeBron with a flying forearm. Disqualification, but the champions are still the champions.

I blow a gasket inside my head every time this happens because in 2018 you’ll only see this in WWE anymore. Nowhere else, because those companies listen to their fans and give the people what they truly want. Whether it’s the influence of stockholders, TV deals or being a publicly traded company, 2018 WWE just wants your money, and will swindle you seven ways to Sunday to take it.