Bavarian Brutality at PretzelMania 2
World-1 Wrestling presented the first Pretzel Deathmatch.
Basking in the grandeur, pageantry and majesty, a raucous crowd came to New Jersey for the biggest spectacle in professional wrestling.
This wasn’t WrestleMania 35…this was PretzelMania 2!
World-1 Wrestling, in association with P.O.A.C. (Parents Of Autistic Children), presented the superdough last Saturday at The Dugout in Morganville, New Jersey. If you’ve never been to The Dugout, it’s a 15,000 sq. ft. baseball and softball training facility with batting cages and artificial turf – a unique, yet perfect venue for wrasslin’.
While it was an interactive, family-friendly affair that Auntie Anne would approve of, the main event took things to the extreme as “The Bulldozer” Matt Tremont challenged World-1 Heavyweight Champion Travis Lee in the first Pretzel Deathmatch.
Both warriors bashed each other with bags of hard pretzels, brawling all over the building and into the frenzied crowd. Tremont ripped a giant inflatable pretzel off the wall, which several competitors pointed to throughout the night, and mercilessly walloped the champion. Lee became a punching bag as a swarm of children pummeled the villain, their proud parents rooting them on. Back inside the ring, Tremont paid homage to Mr. Fuji by grinding the snacks over Lee’s face, literally rubbing salt in the eyes.
As Tremont went to the top rope looking to finish off the champion, Lee rose to his feet and slammed the challenger into a pile of pretzels and crumbs. The referee was knocked out during the ruckus, allowing senior official John Finnegan to fill in. Despite vowing to remain fair and objective earlier in the night, the crooked ref blasted Tremont with the title belt and quickly counted his shoulders to the mat.
It was another miscarriage of justice as Lee retained the gold thanks to the ref (and a couple Snyder’s) in his back pocket.
The TV Champion and Tag Team Champions weren’t as lucky: The Mayor lost his title to “Colossal” Mike Law (competing in the Super 8 this Saturday) and the Brotein Pack’s open challenge backfired as the Midnight Sensations conquered the titleholders in a hard-fought battle.
Somehow, someway, Pelle Primeau retained the North American Championship against Kyle The Beast in an incredible bout. Refusing to be intimidated, Primeau slapped KTB as soon as the bell rang. Enraged, KTB overpowered Primeau, tossing him from pillar to post. The champion found an opening on the outside, and in a move that sent this reporter ducking for cover, Primeau leapt off a pole onto the challenger down below.
That merely slowed down the monster, as KTB hoisted Primeau high in the air and then propelled him into the steel post. KTB followed that up by superplexing the champion to the roar of the crowd. Clearly exasperated, Primeau reached into his trunks for brass knuckles and clocked the challenger, but KTB kicked out before three. With no other options left, Primeau capitalized on the ref being out of position, low blowing KTB and spiking him with a DDT for the victory.
In other action, Mathias Glass summoned the hutzpah to take on Brandon the Bull, cracking up fans with his perpetually entertaining antics. From waving his jacket like a matador to tying Bull up with his cowbell, the Hasidic Outlaw created several PretzelMania Moments before a bodyslam and leg drop slayed the beast.
Of course, all good things must come to an end. After losing a tag team match, Mr. Ooh La La helped Jay D. Luscious get back to his feet. As the crowd cheered the former champions for their effort, Ooh La La turned on his partner, decapitating the “Glittery Mammoth” with a vicious closeline. Boos rained down as the veteran stomped away on Luscious, screaming that the event was supposed to be about him. Hocking a loogie before retreating to the back, Mr. Ooh La La certainly left PretzelMania feeling salty.
World-1 Wrestling returns to The Dugout on May 26.
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